I Love Jon - and Hair Elastics

Why is it that I have such a difficult time believing Jon when he tells me I look good or that I am beautiful? I'm sure if he didn't mean it, he just wouldn't say anything, but since he's offering up the compliment on his own, I should just believe him. But still I doubt. How could he possibly - that's what I always wonder. Whether I choose to believe him or not (which I do try really hard to, although I have trouble accepting compliments as it is) I am married to an AMAZING, loving and supportive man. Awwww...isn't that sweet? For real, though. When I see so many relationships around me falling apart or under tons of strain, I thank God for giving me the perfect match for me. Not that there is never any strain, but in the big picture, I am BLESSED with having Jon in my life.

That's not even what I was thinking I was going to write about - it just came out. So, there's a shout out to Jon Austin for you all!! (For some more good stuff about Jon Austin, check him out here! ;))

I've been feeling good - good about eating well and being excited to eat well, and good about getting my exercise in regularly. While my apple shape is still tough to accept, I am at least happy to see a little bit of that clavicle returning...I love that bone! One thing I am looking forward to is being able to try on clothes in a dressing room and not want to throw up every time I put a different shirt onm or take the shirt off again, for that matter. Plus, what the heck, why is it that my booty and legs can look decent in a pair of jeans, but only jeans that I need an extra 4 inches around the waist...argh! And I REFUSE to wear maternity jeans...I didn't even do that when I was pregnant. Hair elastics work wonders - highly recommend those puppies!! ;)

I'm looking forward to Wednesday morning so I can see if I have lost a couple of pounds. I'll admit, I did an unofficial weigh-in this morning (go ahead and verbally spank me...I said it was UNofficial, ok?!), but since it was unofficial, I won't even mention any results.

In other news... I think Lily might be a baby genius (all parents know that about their children, obviously). She's almost 9 1/2 months now, and she has been saying "hi" for awhile. But, I swear, she tries to copy nearly everything we say. Jon heard her say "all done" tonight, which I was happy about because he was starting to think I was making stuff up each time I told Jon she was saying that. She has also copied "bottle", "up", "Daddy", "Momma" and even "necklace". She waves hi and na-night. Seriously, someone call the press - I have given birth to (an un-insane version of) Einstein!


BTW - keep up the voting at the top of the page, all you new readers. So far I am not at all surprised by the results!

It Is Time!!

I wonder how long I can go on convincing myself that my extra baby baggage will just fall off my body on it's own, or that I will one day just get used to being unhappy when I look in the mirror - especially when I have nothing on! (Sorry to give an image to you wonderful readers!) A major part of my struggle with even talking about this is that I know when I'm parked next to some I look like I definitely need to shed some weight, and when I'm parked next to others I look nice and thin. I think regardless of who's around, it's about feeling good about yourself, and I believe that people of all shapes (I think I'm an apple shape) and sizes struggle with their self-image. Am I right? I don't know...(take the above poll so we can all see a little bit of what truth might be behind that.)

Anyway, for me it is time. It is time to take control of one of the very few things in life that we have control of. What I eat and how active I am. I am an athlete by nature, I think. I spent hours upon hours upon hours in the gym in high school and college practicing and playing volleyball - games, double sessions in pre-season, track or basketball between seasons, in the weight room in the summers, and the list goes on. No wonder I could eat whatever I wanted without noticing much change. (It's funny, though, that even then I wished I was smaller, or more comfortable in my own skin.) Then I graduated, got married, got pregnant pretty quick, and this once athletic body became nothing more than an incubator for four children. Now don't get me wrong, I do not for a single second regret having my kids...I worked hard for this body I have now!! And I will never tell my kids that it's their fault for the way I look or feel about myself. It's not. I have played on some club teams here and their, and was active in Kenya just from living life there (and was, in fact, at my ideal body weight when I lived there...lack of preservatives and crap food maybe??)

So, I started last week just being more conscious of what I'm eating and making sure I get on my treadmill on a regular basis. I really feel motivated this time, and I am looking forward to seeing some results. Here is what I am already doing:

* Being aware of what I am eating at meals.
* Waiting until I am hungry to eat.
* Making better choices about foods - healthier, no high fructose corn syrup, fruits and veggies, etc.
* Getting on the treadmill as many days as I have time for.
* Trying to drink 8 - 8oz. glasses of water each day.

I want to continue all of these things, along with weighing myself once a week (on Wednesday mornings), and keep track of my progress on here - kind of like a journal and kind of like an accountability partner...with ALL (2?) of you readers.

Starting weight (as of last Wednesday): 149.4
Goal weight: 130

And it's not just about weight. I want to FEEL good again. I want to be an athlete again...or at least be able to run on the treadmill for an extended period of time, or have tone arms and legs again. (I remember there was a day when I couldn't pinch fat under my arms...those days are long gone, but I wouldn't mind reclaiming them!)

So journey with me if you will...and if you're not hearing from me, let me know!! I need YOU to help keep me accountable! (But it's nice knowing this is a CHOICE that I have the POWER to make - and now is the time to make it!)

The Master Cleanse

So, I am beginning The Master Cleanse tomorrow morning (well, technically tonight, I guess since the first laxative is taken the night before). I know a couple of friends have done this process of cleaning out the toxins in your body...anyone have any thoughts, suggestions, comments??? I will keep an update on how I am feeling - physically, emotionally...and with weight loss, too! Here's hoping the next 10 days are fast and that this process really works! :)

Leading By Example - Going, Serving, Loving, Giving

Setting the scene: Caleb had one stuffed cat, and Hannah had another.
Johnny: Caleb, can I have that cat? I want to play with it.
Caleb: Well, Hannah has a cat, too. Maybe you can have hers. Hannah, will you let Johnny play with that cat now?
Hannah: NO!
Caleb: Please, Hannah? It would be really nice of you to share.
Hannah: NO!
Caleb: But Hannah, God really wants us to be nice to other people and to share what we have with them. Isn't that right, Mommy?
Me: I think that's exactly what God wants.
Caleb: That's what I'm trying to teach Hannah by having her give her cat to Johnny.
Me: Well, I think a better way of teaching Hannah how to share and to give to others is by showing her how to do that and giving Johnny YOUR cat.
Caleb: Hmmm....

This little interaction between myself and the kids was really precious to me. I loved that Caleb has the mindset of helping others, but it's cute to see his still-very-much five year old mind battling what he knows is right. But, I began to wonder, perhaps it's true that we all sort of have that still-very-much five year old mind. At that age, the world is all about them. But, honestly, does that ever really stop being what the world is about? Doesn't the world tell us to always go for bigger and better and more? Me, me, me...it's all about me.

I love the idea of the upside down Kingdom - that life just isn't about me. My money isn't my money, and my kids aren't even my kids. It's all my Father's and he has been gracious enough to lend me these things, so I can use them - in partnership with him - for His glory and His work.

I have to evaluate my life often, in terms of this conversation with Caleb. It's easy for me to say exactly what I think God wants of me, but am I really doing it, or just expecting others around me to do it? Am I really putting into action the characteristics of the Christ-follower that I am trying to be? Am I loving? Am I giving? Am I serving?

Just as I hope Caleb will learn to lead by example, I need to do the same. How can I expect my children to know how to serve and give and love our neighbors if I'm not doing it?

Thanks, Caleb, for reminding me of my call to action - my call to go, and serve and love and give. To be the hands and feet of Christ in this world...

Butterflies and Cars

She loves stuffed animals, cars, butterflies and trucks. She says, "poo-poo" and gives the sweetest hugs and kisses (not at the same time). She cuddles and adores her baby sister, and wrestles with her brothers. She plays with trucks, baby dolls, strollers and lions. She reads books about Spiderman, cranky bears, shapes and animals. She dives off couches and climbs "mountains" with her brothers. She watches Dora, The Wiggles, Barney...well, anything, really. She is beautiful, smart, hilarious, fun and oh-SO-much more! She is my baby girl, and she is TWO today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEET AND SILLY HANNAH! I LOVE YOU WAY, WAY, WAY MORE THAN I COULD EVER PUT INTO WORDS!!

The Itch

No. I don't have some weird and creepy disease...sorry, no good gossip to be found here! I'm talking about this itch that I get every year to year and a half to get out of this country.

As many of you know, Lily and I had the incredible privilege of taking a 9 day trip to Scotland last month. (And if you were wondering why you missed out on this news, I kept it off of Facebook...reasons to be mentioned further down.) It makes me sad to know that Jon's entire family lives over there, and that there was a grandchild/niece/cousin that they hadn't met yet. So, we made the decision to go. The best part about it (and the reason I didn't mention it on FB) was that Jon's mom had no idea (well, maybe a small suspicion a while back) that we were coming. When Lily and I showed up to her birthday girls brunch, Jane (Jon's mom, and Lily's middle-namesake) was nearly shaking and got the goosebumps - I think she was excited to meet her newest grandchild!
We had an AMAZING time - truly.

Here are some thoughts on my time away:

~ Airplane restrooms have always seemed small to me, but never as small as on my flight to Amsterdam. I had to bring Lily in with me, fold down the "changing table", attempt to fit my head between the under-side of that table and the toilet and the proceed to vomit. It was quite a site! (I was anxious about flying alone with a baby...I'd gotten myself pretty worked up about it!)

~ Lily is absolutely the most perfect traveling baby to ever exist. She sucked her thumb and fell asleep on my shoulder on every flight. In all of the 30+ hours of travel time, she whimpered maybe twice for about 10 seconds. Amazing.

~ Amsterdam airport is a place I could sit all day long and people watch. It is a true melting-pot of so many of the cultures in our world. People are so beautiful - their clothing and hair and style; their language and expressions and attempts to communicate in a foreign country is magnificent to watch and listen to. I love it.

~ Scotland is incredibly gorgeous - even in the dead of winter. It is so green and hilly. There are still sheep roaming the hillsides. The old castle ruins, and castles still standing are breathtaking under their thin layer of fresh snow. The weather is mild and time at the coast still feels like vacation. And the sunsets...OH the sunsets! What a place!

~ The similarities between Jon and his parents are hysterical...down to Jon's dad hating to wash the silverware - just like Jon. And both Geoff and Jane searching frantically for keys, wallets and phone minutes after they should be out the door. (I say all this out of love, of course, Geoff and Jane!;))


~ No matter how many times I go to Britain, double-decker buses (even the school buses were...) and old-fashioned telephone booths will always be things I get excited to see. (Thanks Jaime and Jo for indulging my American tourist needs!)

~ As much as I would have loved having the rest of my family with me, it was great being there without Jon. Sounds bad, but what I mean is that every other time I've been there with Jon, as his wife...visiting because he wanted to see his family. (That's not actually true, but I can see how it could be perceived that way.) This time, I was able to be Angela...not Jon's wife...in Scotland visiting Jon's family because I chose to - because I wanted to. It was awesome to build relationships with Jon's family without him being there. I had a BLAST!!

"Confessions" of an Almost 29-Year-Old

I don't like talking about myself - it makes me really uncomfortable. But, I was thinking of little tid-bits about who I am, and thought I would follow in the footsteps of my sister-in-law Betsy and write some "confessions". So, for no particular reason, here they are:

1. I really wish I was more motivated - to eat healthier, to exercise regularly, to be super hands-on with my kids, to play in the snow, to keep an amazingly clean house.

2. I really like the movie K-Pax. I may be the only one I know of who does.

3. I don't shower nearly as often as I probably should.

4. I hate it when I go to the restroom in a public place, and when I come out I have to look around like a big idiot for the person I'm with. I give Jon a place to stand and he knows he has to stay there, or I stress!

5. I would move to Africa tomorrow if I could (with my family, of course).

6. Caleb told me yesterday that my stomach looks stripey, little, and a little bit big.

7. Me and my brothers have matching scars on our stomachs from pyloric stenosis when we were babies. If I ever had "work done" on my stomach, I wouldn't let anyone touch that scar, cause I really like that we match.

8. Something that bugs me more than anythings else is someone who presents themselves as being "awesome" or better than everyone else...or someone that thinks they have all the answers. Grrrr.

9. The thought of chewing on a sock is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Why would anyone chew on a sock? I don't know, but let's just stop talking about it...it's giving me the heebie-jeebies.

10. Big Red gum gives me painful little bumps on my tongue that last forever. Other than that I really like Big Red - but I won't chew it anymore.

11. Someday I want to deliver babies in Africa. There's nothing in the world quite like child birth, and so many women there have no one to help them through it.

12. I have a really horrible memory. It's pretty frustrating, but maybe once I'm old enough I'll actually just forget that I have a bad memory and it won't frustrate me anymore.

13. My brother Dave and I both have numb areas on the left side of our backs. (Don't be concerned...our doctors have both found nothing to worry about.)

14. I'm really good at burping really loud. I hold it in most of the time - especially when the British side of my family is around! ;)

15. There are VERY few things in my life that I am proud of myself for, but one thing is giving birth to Johnny without any pain medication. Now, I know it's different for everyone, and some people can do that without much trouble, but it was HELL going through it for me, but I did it, and that makes me proud of myself. :)