Playing Catch-Up...or Something

I have literally not looked at my blog (or really anyone else's, for that matter) in nearly 4 months...mostly I'm sorry to myself for that - and Sam. Why have i been avoiding it? Well, I pretty much reached my weight goals (although I'm up about 5 pounds from where I want to be, but it's not from a lack of knowing what to do and how to do it, just from slacking), and I just didn't want to blog about that boring stuff anymore. And lately, I have had SO MUCH on my mind that I haven't even known where to begin when it comes to playing catch-up with blogging. So, maybe I won't even try...

But where should I begin? Maybe I will just list some thoughts I've been having, and then at some point in later blogs I will expand on some of the details on some of my thoughts. Yeah...that's what I'll do.

So, lately I've been struggling with:

* my feelings that perhaps the church as a whole (and I am generalizing here) is REALLY missing it. This is a horrendously sick and dying world - physically and spiritually - and it seems we've convinced ourselves that showing up and doing all the right, cool things on Sundays is what it means to live a life worthy of the calling of Christ...

* my feelings of judgment towards the judgmental. Does that make sense? So many Christians put so much emphasis on the DON'Ts in life (are we even certain that they are "don'ts"?) that we forget about the command to LOVE. I struggle not to get angry with that.

* waiting on God. He has caused my heart to really beat for those in developing nations, but I struggle not knowing WHEN or even IF He will send us to them, and if He is, then by what means will He use? I've allowed this to be a factor of UNmotivation for me in present day living - with my home, and my kids, and my husband and serving right here and now.

* a lack of feeling as though I'm stepping out on faith to do anything. I was encouraged in our Uganda meeting on Sunday to hear one team member talk about how this trip is THE GREATEST leap of faith that he has ever taken. I crave that leap, and that need and that dependence. What am I missing? What am I not doing? Am I stagnant?

* wondering if this trip to Uganda that Jon and I are leading is a God-driven and led trip, or something that I just decided to plan to get me to Africa sooner than God is intending. Wow, that's scary for me to say out loud...

Maybe that's it for now. If I have one or two readers left out there, don't hesitate to comment or ask questions.

Ahhhh...I must say, it feels good to be back!