I'd like to describe for you my evening last night. Jon was at a guy's house doing some music recording, so it was me and the kids - all day - from waking hours until bedtime. By the time dinner rolled around, say about 6:30, Hannah began getting a bit fussy as she was tired and ready for her bottle and her bed. I figured she could wait it out a few minutes while I sat down with the boys to eat. She was playing in her room on the floor when I brought out dinner. I called it pizza to Johnny and an omelet to Caleb. Johnny was fooled, but Caleb wasn't. It was some sort of quiche thing (super yummy!!), but he knew I'd put spinach in it. Begin melt down number one. Caleb freaked out like I've never seen before. He refused even to sit in his seat. He cried and yelled and made a huge deal out of not wanting to eat this dinner. This is coming from a child who does NOT throw tantrums, is an amazing listener, and very rarely gets into trouble. I was floored - but patient. When Hannah started chiming in with her tired meltdown, I decided one needed to be a bit more out of ear shot, so I sent Caleb up to his room. Johnny, who had been doing an amazing job eating his "pizza" and who said it was "good" and "nummy", all of a sudden decided to play Caleb copier, and say, "No like it! Get down and pway!" I tried to convince him that he didn't need to act like that, and I reminded him that he DID, in fact, like this dinner, but he was already too far into playing Caleb. So, I decided I would send him upstairs and I would start taking care of Hannah. I got her bottle, and went in to a now quite thirsty and tired baby, and began changing her into her jammies. I got her arms and legs in, and one snap fastened when I heard a huge bang from upstairs and then Johnny lose it completely. So, to Hannah's dismay, I left her as she was and ran upstairs expecting to find Johnny had fallen off Caleb's bed or something. Turns out Caleb threw his fan at Johnny's head - wow, this is VERY unlike Caleb. They're both freaking out now! I calmly talked over with Caleb what had happened, when Johnny picked up a pair of pants and threw them in Caleb's face. I sent Johnny to his room and shut him in (he's freaking out, of course, over this), and told Caleb to get into bed, because what he did was not okay. He responded with a very worked up and very loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". I wanted to spank him - hard, but the situation had gotten so escalated that spanking him would have only made it worse - it would have helped nothing. So, I just went back downstairs to Hannah who was very unhappy with me by this point. I finished snapping her up, and shoved the bottle into her mouth. Finally, one quiet and calm child. It took about 10 minutes for her to drink her bottle, and I just sat and listened to the mayhem upstairs. Those two boys were incredibly angry and having uncontrollable meltdowns. It was almost funny. Is this wrong? Hannah finished her bottle, let out a huge burp and proceeded to vomit all over me. Perfect. So, before rushing up to the boys, I laid her down and had to go change my clothes. Finally upstairs, I went into Johnny's room, and got him ready for bed. We talked, and he was okay - eventually. Two quiet kids. When I got into Caleb's room, I sat on his bed and we just hugged for a minute. Three quiet kids. Phew! We talked through everything that happened, and then I tucked him in. I told him that even though I wasn't yelling at him, that I was still not happy with the way he had been acting. He said he knew. I kissed him good night and told him I loved him. He loved me too, he said. Then he said, "Mommy, even when I'm frustrated with you, I still love you." It made me happy to know that, and to know that he'd been paying attention all those times I'd said that to him.
So, normally under these circumstances I, too, would have a meltdown. But, something kept me sane; kept me calm. I have been praying for a long time now that God would bless me patience that can come only from Him, cause I know I can't conjure it up on my own. He granted me that patience last night, and I am truly thankful. I did, however, call Jon and ask him to pick up some ice cream on the way home. It was one of those "I just need to dig into to some delicious Handle's" nights. But...today's been great so far!
needle there. He had been too weak to cry for the past two days, but when he felt that pain, he just started screaming and crying. I had to stay with him that night all alone, and I was scared. He received one IV bag of fluids, and in an upset and painful fit, he ripped it out of his head. So, they had me hold him down while they shaved the other side of his little head with a scalpel, and insert another IV there. Half a bag of fluids later, the IV just stopped working. It was the middle of the night, Johnny was making little to no progress and he was exhausted. They wanted to put in another IV, and I just told them “No.”, I couldn’t handle it, and neither could Johnny. It was just too overwhelming. So, I stood and rocked my tired, sick baby in my arms, and I truly believe that God gave me that song – the song I wrote above. I cried as I sang him to sleep, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and desperate. When he woke up a few hours later, Johnny was ready to eat. He nursed and nursed, and drank water from a bottle. It was truly a miracle. When medicine failed, and nothing around us seemed to go right, God lifted us into his arms and carried us through – and I truly believe He healed my baby. 
