Friends...Community...Life

Normally on Sundays, Jon and I lead music for both the 9:30 and the 11:15 gatherings. Then, we’ll see who’s around, and who wants to either join us out for lunch or, like last week, come over and hang out at our place and share a meal, and a little bit of life together. This week was different. Jon and I went to the 9:30 gathering, and since the gathering was just a video today, we didn’t have to do any music, and therefore didn’t have to stay. Our normal lunch crew wasn’t around yet, so we left…alone…and came home…alone. It was sad. As we were driving away, we were saying that it was weird not leaving with anyone else to go hang out. We’ve really come to love being in community with so many friends, neighbors, family, other moms and dads, etc. It’s been great having 3 or 4 days a week spent with these people, and we miss it when we don’t get the chance to do that. So anyway, thank you, friends, for being our friends. We love you, and cherish our relationships with you…and we miss you when we don’t get to be together.

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure

Yesterday at our church gathering, we were blessed to have a baptism service during which two of our teenagers were baptized. It was an awesome and emotional time of seeing and hearing about Jesus transforming lives. Caleb was quite interested in the big pool in the middle of the room. “Can I go swimming?” “No,” we replied, “it’s for baptizing people.” That answer made no sense to him, of course, so Jon sat down and talked through what baptism is with Caleb. It was a sweet moment to watch, as father and son discussed what it was to live for Jesus. At the end Caleb decided, “I want to live like Jesus.” How cool is that? (Really, I think he just wanted to get in the “pool”, and if he gave that answer like the teens had, maybe he’d get to.)

Jon used that little conversation with Caleb during his worship leading, and said something like how we often make things quite complicated as Christians, but really all it should come down to is that we just want to live like Jesus.

Jon and I were able to go to Kingdom Meal Ministry again yesterday, and I witnessed the coolest and most unique “living like Jesus” example I’ve seen in a while. After the meal was done, Jon and I were walking around with a trash can, cleaning up after people. We stopped and chatted for a minute with this one man, and then we scooped up his stuff and continued on with our quest to find and throw out all the trash in the room. Some time later, this same man ran to Jon, and was saying something with a look of great concern on his face. I couldn’t hear at this point, because I was at another table. Jon quickly pulled the trash can to the side, and nearly tossed himself into it. Turns out that the man had taken out his partial retainer and wrapped it up in a napkin while he ate so as not to gross out anyone walking past. Very thoughtful. During our conversation with him this had slipped this man’s mind, and so we just scooped it up with everything else. So, Jon went through each dirty plate and napkin in that (industrial sized) trash can (and they were VERY dirty – it had been greasy, fried chicken, and mashed potatoes night) until he found this man’s retainer. The man offered to help, but Jon let him know that he didn’t need to get his hands dirty, that Jon would find it for him…and he did!

This was such a beautiful picture. It reminded me of foot washing, where someone would get down to the lowest and dirtiest part of another and lovingly and gently wash them. My husband was a gorgeous image of Jesus for me last night, and I would imagine for that man. There was preaching going on…not through words, but through living and loving.

My Favorite Big Guy

My sister-in-law and wonderful friend Betsy always refers to her husband Dave as her favorite big guy, and her son JJ as her favorite little guy. I like that! Well, Jon happens to be my favorite big guy – for many reasons. One of the things that I love about Jon is that he makes me so happy, and he really makes me laugh…a lot of times without even trying.

Jon’s what some might call “accident prone”. If there’s something around to bang your head on, leave it to Jon…and not just once or twice, but each time he goes near this object. You’d think he’d learn after the first time, but no, not Jon! It’s pretty much a daily occurrence – too many to try and explain. Just about every time (and I’m not exaggerating by saying just about every time) we sit down to eat something, he’ll drip food on his pants, or spill his coffee down his shirt. It just always seems to be something, and it never seems to get any less funny!

A couple fun examples:

• I called Jon at work yesterday around lunch time just to check in and chat. He said something along the lines of, “UGH! I’m so embarrassed. I’m at the Mocha House which is packed today, and I just picked up the ketchup to put some on my sandwich. When I went to shake it, I realized too late that the lid wasn’t on tight, and the cap came flying off and ketchup went EVERYWHERE! I look like I just got stabbed in the chest!” For some reason, I wasn’t really surprised to hear that story – this is just pretty typical!

• Jon used to work for a construction company. At one sight they kept their equipment in a locker. He closed the locker, locked it up with the key, and then realized he’d forgotten to put something in it. So, he went to open the locker back up and could not find the key anywhere. He looked…and looked…and looked…and looked – for 15 minutes (seriously) – he had JUST used the key. After all that time searching everywhere, he finally realized he’d put the key between his teeth while he was getting his stuff together, so as NOT to lose it. Only Jon…
• A couple weeks ago we had friends over and we had made a fire in the backyard. We sat around and chatted then decided to make s’mores. So, everyone’s got their marshmallows toasting – including Jon. Jon’s marshmallow lit on fire, so he brought the stick up to blow the flames out. He clearly misjudged how far away his face was from the end of the stick, and he put the flaming hot, molten marshmallow right on his nose, singeing it. He was okay, but there was a nasty bubble and then a mark on his nose for nearly a week. I love this guy!

Ohio - a mission field?

I’ve had these thoughts running through my mind recently, and I feel like I’ve been afraid to give them more than a few minutes on my mind. Jon and I both felt called before we even began dating, to help people in need. We both have a heart for other cultures, and have spent time separately and together overseas doing work in the name of Jesus. My heart truly aches when I see videos or pictures from Africa, or people around the world – from other cultures – who are in need. How can we help? When can we go? What can we do? God, is this what you want us to do?

I have questions and not many answers at this point. The only thing I know is that we REALLY want to be in the center of God’s will – being his hands and feet on this earth. I guess I also know that I have a passion for other cultures and to help those in need. For years and years now I have assumed that this passion would be played out in Africa, as it has in the past, or in another part of the world. Lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe this passion will play…are you ready for this?...in Ohio! What? Ohio? There are needy people in farm country? Other cultures?

There are a few other cultures here in Ohio that we have encountered. First, take a walk through Rogers on any given Friday and you will find a culture all its own. Rogers is a huge (I’m tempted to go back to my middle school days and use the word “humungous”) flea market, and people come from all over to go to this thing. It truly is a sub-culture around here. This, however, is not the culture I feel drawn to. There is another culture (I’m sure more than one) in Youngstown…a very rough, very poor, and very needy culture. At the moment, I believe Youngstown has the fourth highest murder rate of any city in this country. We live three streets away from Youngstown, and we’ve been warned where not to go after dark. Even people within this culture go on lockdown in their homes a lot of the time because they are frightened of their own neighbors.

We’ve spent the past three Sundays with 150 or so of the people from this city, and we have just fallen in love with them. They are amazing people who, more than anything, are in need of someone to listen to them, and to be open with. They’re looking for someone to hear them and relate to them – struggles with kids, abuse, drugs, alcohol, homelessness, death, etc. We’ve loved being there and sharing time and love with them.

I recently wrote an email to a good friend of mine telling her a bit about how much Youngstown is like Kenya. The poverty, the hair salons, the shops (my favorite shop is the one that advertises on the outside of the building that it sells “Beer, Wine, Cigarettes, Chicken and Beauty Supplies” – all the necessities of life! – it really could be right out of Kenya) and so much more. I then joked and said, “Maybe instead of being missionaries to Kenya, we’ll be missionaries to Youngstown”. I realized almost as I was writing this, and definitely right after I sent this email, that maybe that’s not so much of a joke after all. Maybe God brought us to this area to keep us in this area.

A few of you know God’s sense of humor with me. I always said I would never marry a red-head. (Not sure, why, but I said it.) Most of you know Jon and his hair. I also said I would never live in PA (I thought people from PA were weird – how judgmental was I?!) Many of you know we spent a year and a half living near Philly (and the people were great!). After my parents moved out here to farm country Ohio, I then said, I would NEVER live in Ohio. God, you are a funny one sometimes! But seriously, what if He wants us here – for good, or at least for quite a while? I feel like I would really have to mourn the loss of my dreams of being in Africa. Maybe more than falling in love with the people and the places there, I fell in love with how exotic it was. Isn’t it much cooler to say that you are on the mission field in Africa than it is to say that you are on the mission field in Youngstown, Ohio? It makes me realize how potentially selfish some of my thoughts about missions have been. In it for the “coolness” of the journey…sad. I hadn’t thought about this way until recently.

My main goal – our main goal as husband and wife – needs to be to go where He leads, whether it is overseas, or three streets away. We’ve talked within our community a bit lately about how the US is the biggest mission field in the world now – we are a needy country, on so many levels. I always thought that this mission field was for someone else…but maybe it’s not…

God, lead me. I pray every day by myself and with my children that I just want to trust you – and I do trust you. Show us where to go…Show us what to do…

As requested...pictures of my dear May-May. What a doll!

Relationships Today

Today was a very cool day.

For those of you who have read my past posts, you might remember me talking about May-May. She is the six-year old daughter of the woman, Annette that I met at the Salvation Army two weeks ago. Well, this morning at 8:30, I was in the Southside of Youngstown picking up May-May for church. I got a big, familiar hug from her when I got out of the car, and one from Annette, too. It was great to see them again! I buckled May-May in the backseat of our minivan next to Johnny, and away we went. (Caleb had gone to church even earlier with Jon in the Jeep.) I had put on a farm CD for them to listen to in the back, and it was the sweetest thing hearing May-May’s off tune voice singing out Old MacDonald and other fun favorites. Johnny sang some here and there, but spent most of the time just staring at May-May. I could see his wheels spinning in his brain wondering why her skin looked different than his. He was focusing mostly on her arms. I realized that he doesn’t remember any of the four months of his life in Kenya, so May-May is really the first dark skinned person he’s spent this much time next to. By the time we got to church, he’d gotten over the skin thing. They walked hand in hand through the parking lot on the way to the building. It was a beautiful site! While Jon and I practiced music, Johnny ran around asking, “Are oo, May-May?” wondering where she was hiding. Johnny and Caleb loved their new friend!

So, the gathering happened, Johnny was in the nursery with Hannah and the other little ones, Caleb was in the 3 and 4 year old class, and May-May was upstairs having games and story time with the bigger kids. She had a BLAST!! Her excitement when she came down was just priceless. It was as if she was just able to be a kid for the first time in a long time. She loved it! Plus, since Jon and I do music for both gatherings on Sunday mornings, she got to have a double dose of the fun – she was pretty pumped about that! After it all, she and Caleb and Johnny chased each other for an eternity through the chairs and down the hallways and in and out of the classrooms. They had so much fun together.

I was excited about having May-May for the afternoon. We went out to lunch at the local pizza buffet place, and then headed back to our house. My kids went down for a nap – and so did Jon, so it was just me and May-May hanging out. We had a great time cooking and eating at the play kitchen. She made me some fabulous broccoli and chicken! Then it was time for me to clean the real kitchen a bit. She said she’d never helped do dishes before – she always asked her mom to help, but her mom says no. So, we did the dishes together, and then she cleaned the sinks, and scrubbed the stove top, and helped sweep the floors. What a helper! While we did all that we had some time to chat. Her favorite food is macaroni and cheese. When I asked her what she’d had for dinner the night before, she said nothing. I asked if she was serious, and she said yes. Her mom forgot to make her anything. When I asked her if she said anything to her mom about dinner, she said that she didn’t because her mom knows she’s supposed to feed her, she just didn’t do it. Then she said she hadn’t had any lunch or breakfast either. Now, I’m not sure if she knew exactly what she was saying, cause at the pizza place today, she didn’t exactly seem desperate to eat anything. So, who knows? But…maybe she hadn’t eaten. Sad. I asked her what her favorite thing about her mom is, and she said that she’s nice to everyone. I then asked her if there was anything she didn’t like about her mom. She answered that she doesn’t like that she cusses so much, and that she leaves her with her Grandma all the time. But…then I asked May-May what her favorite holiday is. She answered Mother’s Day, because she gets to give her mom gifts. How sweet is that?!

May-May came with us to the Salvation Army in the afternoon, and helped out serving drinks for awhile before I brought her home to her mom’s boyfriend’s house. When I dropped her off, I got one of those great big hugs, and once again my heart just melted. Jon and I did our thing at the S.A. again, and it was awesome, as usual. An hour or so after we got home, Annette called to see how the day went with May-May, and she also wanted to tell me that since she’d gotten home, May-May has been saying that everything is, “Awesome!!” Apparently that word was not part of her vocabulary before I came along. Cute. They both sounded so happy. Annette told me she’s excited to come with us to church next week, too. I’m pretty excited about it, too. God has really opened a door with our relationship and I’m pretty pumped to see how He continues to mold these relationships.

Speaking of God molding relationships, as I sit down in the basement writing this post, Jon is upstairs hanging out and playing guitar with his friend Greg. Greg is a plumber who’s been doing work on Jon’s job site. Greg is an alcoholic and recovering heavy drug addict, who is having extreme marital tension. We’ve really seen God at work in Greg’s life. He’s felt His hand moving in amazing ways in his own life, and he’s giving God the credit for it, which is very cool. Greg’s come to church with Jon a few times now – once he brought his 7 year old son, Gregory. He has shared custody of him with Gregory’s mother. So, what’s cool about right now is that Jon’s upstairs teaching Greg some guitar stuff, and they’re totally worshiping together. God is very present up there right now. They’re playing and singing the chorus, “Better is One Day” and it is just such an amazing thing to listen to knowing all that Greg is going through right now. It’s been a blessing to Jon that Greg has confided in him about everything he’s dealing with. God has truly brought them together.

I’m slowly learning that loving others – which is done in a lot of different ways – really is what God calls us all to do. So far it’s pretty great!

Moms Plus Dave

My brother Dave is a stay-at-home Dad. I am a stay-at-home Mom. Dave lives in New Waterford - out in the boondocks. I live 30 minutes away in Boardman – the center of things around here. Dave and I and our families, plus our parents, all lived together until April, so naturally, now that we are living apart, I miss being a stay-at-home parent with my brother. And, our kids miss each other, too – most days. So, we decided that we would meet up at the mall once a week so we could hang out and our kids could play at the play-place together. It ended up being on a Wednesday a few weeks in a row, so we just decided to make it official – Wednesdays at 9:30, play time for everyone! One week I invited my friend Stacy. Thus officially formed the “Moms Plus Dave Group”. Stacy and I began talking with other moms who would show up, and we found out that there are lots of moms out there who are lonely and doing this mom thing with little or no support. So, while Dave hung back (not wanting to appear as though he was hitting on the moms), Stacy and I were spreading the word to moms here and there about how we meet regularly, and they’re welcome to come hang out, too. So, we met Leanne and her son Chase, Heather and her daughter Nevaeh, Laura and her son Colin, Kathy and her son Conner, Michelle and her daughter Ellie, and others who have come back once, or have yet to come back. Also, our friend Erin from church started coming, and my neighbor and friend Lisa has been coming regularly. It’s been pretty great!

Today was my favorite day, so far, I think. Dave and Stacy weren’t able to be there (no, that’s not why today was my favorite), but Leanne and Chase, Erin and Emma and Eric, Lisa and Alex and Lilly, Michelle and Ellie, my mom, and me and Johnny and Hannah (Caleb was at school) were all there today. This was actually the first time I’d met Michelle. I’d seen her the past two weeks, but she always came and read a book or talked on the phone while her daughter played. Today we finally talked, and she told me that Ellie has a twin who has cerebral palsy, and that she and Ellie come to the mall and wait while the other daughter gets her muscle therapy. It was amazing that Michelle was so open with a mom she had just met. To me that showed how needy we moms (and dads) are for interaction and camaraderie. I asked a couple of the moms how their mornings had been up until the mall time. They said, “Oh, pretty good” and other similar comments. Then I said, “My morning sucked!” I explained a bit about how I had gotten so frustrated and yelled at the boys, and swore under my breath. After I shared about that, it was amazing how all the other moms were in agreement about they are the same way. They all get frustrated and sometimes act irrationally and yell really loud. I was telling them that I was sure Lisa heard me yelling this morning (she’s my next door neighbor). Lisa said, “Well, if you haven’t heard me yet, then I’ll never hear you, ‘cause I yell loud!” Another mom then mentioned how it was nice to know they were not the only one who went through this. It was pretty cool to take off my “everything is fine” mask and just be real with these other moms about how my day had been so far. I think it was a bonding moment for us all this morning. Leanne suggested that we all get together with our spouses sometime soon and have a “potluck cookout”, where we all pitch in and have a meal together. What a great idea! She and her husband have not been in the area too long, and they’re looking to make friends. I’m so excited to see this group become closer, and really get to know each other. God is pretty cool to bring people together the way that He has. Moms Plus Dave Group rocks! :)