My Final Pregnancy

It's a mix of emotions knowing that this is the last time that I will EVER be pregnant! Some of you may be thinking, "Yeah, whatever. I've heard that from them before. She'll have more!" Well, not so, my friends, not so. This time I'm getting my tubes tied, and it is permanent!! That's a very strange feeling. It's a move I am completely certain that I am ready to make, however it is a strange idea to have my child bearing abilities completely taken away from me. After all, I'm only 28! On the other hand, both of these last two babies and have been surprises. While we could not be more excited, we certainly weren't planning on 4 kids. So, I must admit that I am incredibly happy to be nearing the end of this pregnancy stage of life. In the last 5 years I have been pregnant for 3 full years, and my body has been completely destroyed - specifically my belly region, of course. My body has been so many different sizes, that I'm still hanging onto outdated and grungy clothes from college just because I haven't given myself the reason or opportunity to shop for new clothes - I just keep going and getting pregnant again! But not this time, people! When Lily is born (in just 11 days!) I will begin my process of reclaiming my body and losing weight, knowing FOR SURE that I won't get pregnant again, and then maybe one day I will be able to bring myself to spend a few bucks on some new clothes.

As well as my weight having its ups and downs, this pregnancy has also had its emotional ups and downs. I had a sneaky suspicion that I was pregnant, but after a negative at home test I assumed I was wrong. When no period came some days later, I bought another test, and this time got different results. This news came at the height of Jon's unemployment, when he was struggling with that the most. He REALLY had a hard time with the news of another baby - or another mouth to feed, as he saw it at first. But, even by the end of that first day of knowing, Jon's heart had changed and a small glimpse of excitement began to show. I struggled the worst through the first trimester with sickness - getting sick well over 30 times. I was pretty miserable, but at that point I was PRAISING GOD that Jon was unemployed and could be with the kids when all I could do was lay in bed. The 2nd trimester was fantastic. We found out we were having a girl, decided on a name and could completely picture our Lily as another member of our beautiful (yeah, I'm allowed to say that!) family! We would look around the table and picture our two little boys and two little girls. And still, we can't imagine a more perfect family for us! We only continue to get more and more excited as the day draws closer to meeting her!

Will I miss being pregnant? Um, let me think...NO! I will NOT miss the morning sickness, and I will NOT miss the comments from untactful people. I will NOT miss how GINORMOUSLY I carry my babies...it's just the way I carry, and it's awful! I will NOT miss my nasty, peeling hands, or my horribly red splotchy face! The one and only thing I will miss is feeling a baby move inside my belly. It is the single most amazing thing I have ever experienced - knowing that there is a human life growing and developing and wiggling and playing inside my body...MIRACULOUS! And that feeling has never ever gotten old - even in my 4th pregnancy!

I LOVE my children with the deepest of loves that is so unexplainable. I could nearly squish the life out of them with all the hugs and kisses and squeezes that I have for them. I am excited to have one more baby to feel this way about! It's amazing that a parent doesn't have to divide their love among all the children, but rather there is just MORE love that appears for the next child. It blows my mind, really! Being a parent is the greatest 'job' in the world, and I thank God for my four wonderful children, and for my amazing husband, the Daddy of my kids.

Here are some pregnant and baby pictures...don't be scared by my huge belly, and yes, I only ever had one baby at a time!

8 1/2 Months Pregnant with Caleb:







Newborn Caleb:





8 Months Pregnant with Johnny:







Newborn Johnny:





8 Months Pregnant with Hannah:





Newborn Hannah:







8 Months and 1 Week Pregnant with Lily:






I know we all carry differently, but you have to admit, I carry pretty large!! And these pictures aren't even from 9 months pregnant! This is one of the main reasons that I am just done being pregnant. I am SO uncomfortable for the entire last trimester! And I have big kids...Caleb was 5 days late and weighed 9 lbs. 6 ozs. Johnny was 6 days late and weighed in at 9 lbs. 13 ozs. Hannah was a c-section and was born 5 days early at 8 lbs. 12 ozs. Lily will be a c-section 6 days early, and I am pretty curious to know what she will weigh - they tell me she's a decent size and has a big head! :)

So, that's that - my final pregnancy. Even ending this post seems strange...my last pregnancy post. I guess I'll just end it...