Here We Go...'Sexual Immorality'

What a conversation that has been happening about homosexuality! For those who have been following along, WOW, huh?! I know! Well, my friend Matt asked me in his last comment what my definition of sexual immorality is. I began answering it as another comment, then thought, "heck, how about I just be that 'controversial blogger' for awhile." So, here goes...

First, let me just say that while I am pretty sure that God may very well give the okay for homosexual relationships, that He doesn't give the okay for homosexual sex outside of marriage...just like He doesn't for heterosexual sex outside of marriage. And this obviously poses a problem for homosexual Christians, because in most states it is not yet legal for them to marry. So, next comes my "definition' of marriage.

Actually, my mom and I just talked about this very question. I guess a vague answer that I would say to Matt's original question is that sexual immorality is a sexual act outside of what God has given you blessing to act upon. This may be different actions for different people.

Okay, NOW come my thoughts on marriage. One of the cool things about God is that He knows us better than anyone else - even ourselves. He goes straight to out heart and knows us very deep. I believe He ultimately judges our heart...not our checklists or rights and wrongs. So, marriage...are we married when we are committed in our hearts to another person or when we check off everything on our checklist, 1.) ceremony 2.) priest/pastor/judge/"by the power vested in me" 3.) ring on the finger 4.) one witness to sign the papers 5.) marriage certificate??

There is a man and a woman who have been 'partners' for over 20 years. They live together, share family, holidays, love, sexual relations, etc. They are and have been fully committed to one another for all of these years. Is their sex life one of sexual immorality? I believe not. In their hearts, these two are married...more married than a lot of actual married people I know!

There is a man and a woman who have been married for 5 years. He is committed to her in love, friendship, sexual acts, etc. She is committed on the outside, but her heart is somewhere else...and with someone else. Is their sex life one of sexual immorality? For him, I would think not, but for her, I would suggest that she is being sexually immoral when engaging in sexual activity with her husband. There is no love or commitment involved.

(Side note: both are true stories of couples I know.)

This is why I have a hard time with the whole checklist mentality. I don't believe God has a check list. He doesn't have the rules that we think He does. He has a heart for His children - us. HE KNOWS our hearts. Sometimes we think we know someone and their intentions way more than we actually do. That's when we start to point fingers with our list of dos and don'ts. I know I've pointed fingers at inappropriate times. I know people have done the same to me. It's done nothing but hurt, not help.

If we are truly seeking God and His will for us as sexual beings, He will let us know what we can and cannot do to remain sexually moral people.

One more quick thought I have...let's say there is a woman pastor who knows without a doubt that God has called her to the ministry - to lead and pastor a body of Christ followers. Who am I (or anyone else) to say to her, "Don't you know what the Bible says about women in ministry? You must have misheard God - He would never have called you to that. You're wrong!" Similarly, who am I to say to a gay Christian, "What? God has given you His blessing to marry this other man? He never would have blessed that. You must have misheard God. You're wrong!"

If we understood God completely, the world would be a very different place. But, we DON'T! He is almighty, and so far beyond our comprehension - there's no way I can wrap my brain around it all. So, since I believe God doesn't have a checklist (aside from the ten commandments), who am I to judge what others are doing as right or wrong? GOD sees into their hearts, not ME!

So, now come the comments, I guess. What are YOUR thoughts and definitions on sexual immorality?

What the Bible says - and doesn't say - about homosexuality

http://www.soulforce.org/pdf/whatthebiblesays.pdf

I want to thank both Jan and Matt for the time and energy that they put into their responses about my last post. I was expecting "the debate" about homosexuality to begin at some point after what I wrote in my last blog, and it did. (That's a good thing, and certainly not a bad thing!) We all have different opinions. For me, I guess, the bottom line is that I am not convinced that practicing homosexuality is a sin in and of itself, and therefore will not judge a practicing homosexual as a person living in sin. The link I put above is a great resource for anyone trying to figure out where they stand on homosexuality and the Bible. I'll warn you, it's not a short read, but it's INCREDIBLY interesting, and I would encourage anyone to read it. (I especially like the fourth and fifth premises.)

Let's keep talking!

An Awesome Experience!

On Friday as I drove home from my first MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers)Group, the boys were in the back singing along with their CD, "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, for all you've given me." It was such a sweet moment hearing Johnny try and keep up, and Caleb trying to stay on pitch. It was even sweeter thinking through what they were singing, and realizing, truly, how much I have to be thankful for.

I am incredibly thankful for the time I had last weekend to get together in Washington DC with a few of my college girlfriends. It was an awesome time of reconnection, and we had a great weekend exploring the city and meeting new people.

Our last night there we had the pleasure of bumping into some guys who ended up taking us bar hopping. It sounds worse than it was, I assure you! Ben, Mark and Drew, three gay men, struck up a conversation with us on our way back to our hotel at about 11:00 Saturday night. Immediately we felt comfortable with them, and just laughed and had a good time chatting. They invited us with them to a gay bar, which none of us had ever been to before. I was SO excited about it. We had such a great time hanging out with them, having a drink (for those who need their names cleared, I was the only one who had a drink...), and just getting to know them and hearing some of their stories.

I was especially excited about this, and the timing of this because of our series at New Hope that we're going through called, "They Like Jesus, but Not the Church." As a church, it seems we've really screwed up in a lot of ways, one of them being the way we treat homosexuals. It's assumed by so many that Christians are homophobic, judgmental, negative people who hate gay people. The video for that week of the series was so powerful for me. While we were hanging out with our new friends, I had the chance to throw appropriately into the mix of conversation that we happened to be Christians. The conversation didn't go any further than that, but it really didn't need to. I'm left with the hope that God will use that opportunity for those guys to think about Christ-followers and realize that not all Christians (and I would hope this is true of most Christians)are stiff, gay-bashers who are condemning them to hell, but are loving and accepting of them as people - children of God. After all, we have ALL sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Who are we (whether we believe that practicing homosexuality is a sin or not - and I think I may not) to throw stones at another, when we sin like everyone else.

I am so thankful for this time which was a great end to an awesome weekend. I was so energized from this experience, and really felt in my element. I'm glad that God works in all kinds of ways, even through hanging out in gay clubs - or any clubs, for that matter, and I believe He will work through this experience - even if only in a small way.

What's YOUR Miracle?

According to the recent poll, we all believe that miracles do happen, and most of us believe we have experienced at least one at some point. There was mention of babies forming inside of a woman, which I agree is an incredible miracle that I have been blessed to experience three times now (and will experience no more, for those of you who think we're going to have another!). Since a whopping 11 of us claim to have experienced a miracle, I am curious to have you share what those were for you...for those who would be so willing. Simply leave a comment to this post for others to read. Thanks for sharing! I know that I am ALWAYS inspired when I hear about the way God works in other people's lives. God works in so many ways...even through dreams, I have learned (which is a topic for a post another day). So, please...if you would...share with us how you have seen God's hand in your life.

A Good Quote

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!"

I received one of those, "pass this email on to three people and you'll have good luck" type emails today. I tend to just erase those, but this one I read. This quote was a little hidden gem at the end, and I liked it, so while I didn't pass the email on, I thought I would share it with all of you.

"Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus"

I am so confused sometimes by miracles. Do they happen? Do they happen like they did in the Bible? Do they only happen in developing nations, and if so, why? What is a miracle? Can something small be considered a miracle?

I wrote a few posts ago about an experience I had in Kenya where I truly felt that God healed my baby when nothing else was working. A miracle? For me - yes. Is it explainable to others scientifically? Maybe...I don't know much about medicines and sicknesses. But, I know God worked.

Sunday night at Kingdom Meal Ministry (KMM)there was talk of miracles. Pastor Rusty, the KMM president, was telling me about a meeting he'd had with a pastor friend of his this past week. This pastor had just come back from Mozambique and spoke of miracles that he encountered while he was there. There were crutches lining the outer walls of a church building, because people were going in and being healed. There was one night when the group had prepared a dinner of stew for some event. The people of the village heard of this gathering, and "crashed" the party, and expected to be fed. The woman dishing out the stew was saying as she scooped up each bowl, "Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus." The pastor said that after the whole village was fed, there was actually more stew left in the pot then when they began. Did Jesus feed the 5,000 that night like he did when He was on earth? Why am I a skeptic sometimes? Why do I doubt things like this. Why do we hear about an event like this and think, "That's a nice story."

KMM was special this week. I showed up at 4 like normal, and instead of finding all the tables and chairs set up and all the workers getting everything ready, I found a locked, dark, empty gym. I was the only helper there other than 2 cooks, and there were already guests waiting outside to come in. I worked my butt off setting up all those tables and chairs alone - preparing to feed 130 or so people. I was panicking that no one else would come to help. But, Pastor Rusty tells us every week that God always provides. We ended up with only about 10 workers on Sunday when we normally have about 20 or more. But this week, we fed over 200 people - I have NEVER seen that many people come to be fed. When panic should have taken over, I was surprisingly calm and it was a very smooth evening. People were happy, I got lots of hugs, people's bellies were full, and there were plenty of leftovers. Is this a miracle? I don't know. But, I will not doubt that God was at work there that night...as I believe He desires to be at work - everywhere - all the time. Maybe it's not whether God "performed a miracle", maybe it's whether or not we choose to see the hand of God at work in our every day circumstances.

I'd like to do that. My friend Stacy has done that in the midst of her storms of life. The connection to her blog can be found in my friend's blogs section...it's worth checking out, for sure. Another amazing friend just experienced a second miscarriage in the span of only a few months, but continues to praise Him in her storm. To me, this is miraculous. Where do you see God at work in your life? Do you see it? What are your thoughts on miracles? I think - no, I KNOW they happen. I'm just gonna keep praying, "Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus. Multiply, Jesus."

An Evening of Meltdowns

I'd like to describe for you my evening last night. Jon was at a guy's house doing some music recording, so it was me and the kids - all day - from waking hours until bedtime. By the time dinner rolled around, say about 6:30, Hannah began getting a bit fussy as she was tired and ready for her bottle and her bed. I figured she could wait it out a few minutes while I sat down with the boys to eat. She was playing in her room on the floor when I brought out dinner. I called it pizza to Johnny and an omelet to Caleb. Johnny was fooled, but Caleb wasn't. It was some sort of quiche thing (super yummy!!), but he knew I'd put spinach in it. Begin melt down number one. Caleb freaked out like I've never seen before. He refused even to sit in his seat. He cried and yelled and made a huge deal out of not wanting to eat this dinner. This is coming from a child who does NOT throw tantrums, is an amazing listener, and very rarely gets into trouble. I was floored - but patient. When Hannah started chiming in with her tired meltdown, I decided one needed to be a bit more out of ear shot, so I sent Caleb up to his room. Johnny, who had been doing an amazing job eating his "pizza" and who said it was "good" and "nummy", all of a sudden decided to play Caleb copier, and say, "No like it! Get down and pway!" I tried to convince him that he didn't need to act like that, and I reminded him that he DID, in fact, like this dinner, but he was already too far into playing Caleb. So, I decided I would send him upstairs and I would start taking care of Hannah. I got her bottle, and went in to a now quite thirsty and tired baby, and began changing her into her jammies. I got her arms and legs in, and one snap fastened when I heard a huge bang from upstairs and then Johnny lose it completely. So, to Hannah's dismay, I left her as she was and ran upstairs expecting to find Johnny had fallen off Caleb's bed or something. Turns out Caleb threw his fan at Johnny's head - wow, this is VERY unlike Caleb. They're both freaking out now! I calmly talked over with Caleb what had happened, when Johnny picked up a pair of pants and threw them in Caleb's face. I sent Johnny to his room and shut him in (he's freaking out, of course, over this), and told Caleb to get into bed, because what he did was not okay. He responded with a very worked up and very loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". I wanted to spank him - hard, but the situation had gotten so escalated that spanking him would have only made it worse - it would have helped nothing. So, I just went back downstairs to Hannah who was very unhappy with me by this point. I finished snapping her up, and shoved the bottle into her mouth. Finally, one quiet and calm child. It took about 10 minutes for her to drink her bottle, and I just sat and listened to the mayhem upstairs. Those two boys were incredibly angry and having uncontrollable meltdowns. It was almost funny. Is this wrong? Hannah finished her bottle, let out a huge burp and proceeded to vomit all over me. Perfect. So, before rushing up to the boys, I laid her down and had to go change my clothes. Finally upstairs, I went into Johnny's room, and got him ready for bed. We talked, and he was okay - eventually. Two quiet kids. When I got into Caleb's room, I sat on his bed and we just hugged for a minute. Three quiet kids. Phew! We talked through everything that happened, and then I tucked him in. I told him that even though I wasn't yelling at him, that I was still not happy with the way he had been acting. He said he knew. I kissed him good night and told him I loved him. He loved me too, he said. Then he said, "Mommy, even when I'm frustrated with you, I still love you." It made me happy to know that, and to know that he'd been paying attention all those times I'd said that to him.

So, normally under these circumstances I, too, would have a meltdown. But, something kept me sane; kept me calm. I have been praying for a long time now that God would bless me patience that can come only from Him, cause I know I can't conjure it up on my own. He granted me that patience last night, and I am truly thankful. I did, however, call Jon and ask him to pick up some ice cream on the way home. It was one of those "I just need to dig into to some delicious Handle's" nights. But...today's been great so far!