An Ordinary Screw-up

A good friend shared with me recently that she feels that she is not putting herself out there to be used by God the way that she’d like to be. I just want to talk about that for a minute…

It’s been about a year now that we have been home from Kenya and have been living in Ohio. For quite a number of months, we saw our living in this area as temporary – waiting around until we found out where God wanted us next. We prayed about and searched for where that next place was. For awhile, we were pretty convinced it was back in Massachusetts. For another while, we were pretty convinced we’d be moving to Columbus, OH. We even thought for awhile it might be Greensboro, NC. But, we never thought Youngstown, OH would be home for us. After all, isn’t it like the city with the second highest murder rate in the country, or something like that? No thanks! One day while we were looking everywhere but here, I realized that I was missing all the amazing opportunities that had been laid before me. We were (and still are) a part of an amazing church community that reaches out beyond its walls. We were (and still are) making meaningful friendships with people in the church and in our neighborhood. Why was I looking past these things? I don’t know why, but once I stopped looking past them, and realized how beautiful life was becoming here, it was almost like God showed us that THIS is where I want you, so stop looking everywhere else. It was hard for us to disappoint some friends of ours who we had told we’d probably be coming their way to live pretty soon. But, we had such a peace about staying here. Now, it was really getting involved…

I feel like whether I am in a place for a day or a month or a life time, I should be giving God 100% of myself for Him to use. I was saddened that I had waited to get out of that temporary mindset first. But, the situation was what it was for the moment, and I had to work in that moment. So, I really was ready to get involved. For as long as I can remember I have had a passion for needy people. I’ve felt like God has used me in a number of ways over the past few months (as stated in the blog a couple of posts ago), but I was still lacking that real feeling of being used in the way that was compatible with my passions. Last week’s time at the Salvation Army was the first time that I really felt like, “Yeah! This is it! This is what I am really passionate about – this is where I want to direct my energy!” I did what needed to be done, and it was great! Last night, Jon and I went back, and it was just as amazing. The need was huge, and many hungry people were fed. By the end of the evening, my feet were killing me, because I wore uncomfortable flip-flops, but I just didn’t want to stop. I had this God-given fire under me keeping me going. It started in my heart and in my spirit and worked its way out to my physical body, so I could do what needed to be done. I loved every minute of it – despite the pain in my feet.

That’s been the challenge for myself – finding where God can use me in line with my passions. For now, I’ve found it, and I can’t wait to find more things like it! Maybe God is challenging all of us to find somewhere where we feel that God-given fire inside of us, energizing us to do his work. Maybe it’s feeding those who are hungry; maybe it’s talking to and befriending lonely people; maybe it’s starting a small group community; maybe it’s fixing people’s cars; maybe it’s having people over to your home to share a meal. Maybe it’s a couple of those things. What are your passions? I will be praying with you as you minister through your passions, or seek to be used more by Him. It is truly amazing that He wants to and DOES use ordinary screw-ups like you and me to do His work.