I wonder how long I can go on convincing myself that my extra baby baggage will just fall off my body on it's own, or that I will one day just get used to being unhappy when I look in the mirror - especially when I have nothing on! (Sorry to give an image to you wonderful readers!) A major part of my struggle with even talking about this is that I know when I'm parked next to some I look like I definitely need to shed some weight, and when I'm parked next to others I look nice and thin. I think regardless of who's around, it's about feeling good about yourself, and I believe that people of all shapes (I think I'm an apple shape) and sizes struggle with their self-image. Am I right? I don't know...(take the above poll so we can all see a little bit of what truth might be behind that.)
Anyway, for me it is time. It is time to take control of one of the very few things in life that we have control of. What I eat and how active I am. I am an athlete by nature, I think. I spent hours upon hours upon hours in the gym in high school and college practicing and playing volleyball - games, double sessions in pre-season, track or basketball between seasons, in the weight room in the summers, and the list goes on. No wonder I could eat whatever I wanted without noticing much change. (It's funny, though, that even then I wished I was smaller, or more comfortable in my own skin.) Then I graduated, got married, got pregnant pretty quick, and this once athletic body became nothing more than an incubator for four children. Now don't get me wrong, I do not for a single second regret having my kids...I worked hard for this body I have now!! And I will never tell my kids that it's their fault for the way I look or feel about myself. It's not. I have played on some club teams here and their, and was active in Kenya just from living life there (and was, in fact, at my ideal body weight when I lived there...lack of preservatives and crap food maybe??)
So, I started last week just being more conscious of what I'm eating and making sure I get on my treadmill on a regular basis. I really feel motivated this time, and I am looking forward to seeing some results. Here is what I am already doing:
* Being aware of what I am eating at meals.
* Waiting until I am hungry to eat.
* Making better choices about foods - healthier, no high fructose corn syrup, fruits and veggies, etc.
* Getting on the treadmill as many days as I have time for.
* Trying to drink 8 - 8oz. glasses of water each day.
I want to continue all of these things, along with weighing myself once a week (on Wednesday mornings), and keep track of my progress on here - kind of like a journal and kind of like an accountability partner...with ALL (2?) of you readers.
Starting weight (as of last Wednesday): 149.4
Goal weight: 130
And it's not just about weight. I want to FEEL good again. I want to be an athlete again...or at least be able to run on the treadmill for an extended period of time, or have tone arms and legs again. (I remember there was a day when I couldn't pinch fat under my arms...those days are long gone, but I wouldn't mind reclaiming them!)
So journey with me if you will...and if you're not hearing from me, let me know!! I need YOU to help keep me accountable! (But it's nice knowing this is a CHOICE that I have the POWER to make - and now is the time to make it!)
I'm a frugal Momma these days....
15 years ago
5 comments:
I'm rooting for you! I used to think "oh it's got to be easy when your a mom to keep the weight off. All of that running around, barley getting a bite in, chasing them and such" HA what was I thinking! I don't even have the excuse of putting weight on with a baby inside of me! I have only had the boys for 5 months now and I feel like a large blob. I have almost always been pretty confident in my skin until the last few months. The weight gain for me is being home and cooking/preparing food to the tune of ALL DAY LONG! So, for me and I'm sure for you it's mostly about self-discipline and focus. Choosing several times in a day to not eat this or to get on that... You Go Girl!! You can do it:)
This is such a good post (and one most every mom out there can relate to!)
I used to roll my eyes at people when they'd recommend yoga or stretching, but when my treadmill broke after having Asher, I resorted to Biggest Loser DVD's - and was surprised by how much I loved the yoga one best of all.
Even before all the weight was off, I just felt stronger and leaner. It's a body confidence workout - maybe it changed how I was seeing my body? I dunno.
You can totally do this. The steps your taking are the right ones. I'd add "stop eating when full" and also "give yourself some grace in the process" - because it is a process. :)
Ang - I am rooting for you! I also have been working on losing weight for the past few months. It has been a slow, steady and tedious process. I have lost 20 lbs but it has taken 4 months and I have at least another 10 lbs to go. All that being said - I agree that it is imperative to focus on how you feel, not just the number on the scale.
Next time we are in Youngstown, maybe we can take a walk together or something :) I miss you.
I often hesitate commenting on deeply-personal posts because it can scare people off when they feel themselves exposed to too many people. That multiplies by, oh, I don't know, a thousand when it has to do with a lady and her weight and I'm a guy. Nonetheless, I want you to know I'm rooting for you too. I grew up the older brother of three sisters and I have an un-talked-about emotional understanding that goes pretty far into my female side. (Hopefully that didn't sound more confusing or weird than I intended.) Anyway, many prayers and good vibes coming your way.
If you don't want me to be in the core group of your accountability partners, please know there will be no hard feelings. Still sending the prayers and good vibes though. :)
Ang,
It's so great that you're so honest with your struggles and emotions. You encourage us all to be more like that. I'm with you!
Love, Momma
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